Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Powers of Nature

This is good. This is great. And I’m not even being sarcastic. You know what I’m talking about? Well. It’s nature. It’s Eyjafjallajökull. And I love it.

Why? Well, you should know. Or you’re totally outdated when it comes to news. This beautiful volcano erupts, with a magnificent display of light, and a big huge Ash Cloud covers Europe because of a common happening on the beautiful island Iceland.

Uhm. Common, I said. It may be that few agree when I say it’s common, but volcano eruptions aren’t that rare on Iceland. Eyjafjallajökull has vomited lava in 920, 1612, between 1820 and 1823, and now, in 2010. It’s Big Sister (I’m sure it’s a female volcano), Katla, has erupted 16 times since 930. And that’s only documented eruptions; she (I refuse to call her a he, despite the fact that vg.no called her Eyjafjallajökull’s Big Brother) may have exploded without anyone noticing or writing down or taking picture or filmings. And I’ve made (with help from Wikipedia) a short list of (some) known volcano eruptions after the year 1900:

-       Askja, 1961
-       Bárðarbunga, 1903
-       Eldfell, 1973 (almost caused permanent evacuation from Iceland, see here)
-       Esjuföll, 1927 (there may also have been some magma movements in 2002)
-       Grímsvötn, 1998 and 2004
-       Hekla, 1913, 1947-1948, 1970, 1980, 1981, 1991 and 2000


According to Wikipedia, I still have 8 more Icelandic volcanoes to write down, and they might have erupted more than once since 1900 for all I know. So. Anyway. You get the idea. And I’m too lazy to write down any more volcanoes.

What’s fun, is that the whole world – or at least the whole (Northern) Europe – is stuck all over the world. Or at home. Because the Ash Cloud makes the aeroplane guys frightened (I agree with them, better safe than sorry), and therefore they stop all air traffic. So people can’t fly with metal birds wherever they want. Which is good, I think. It makes people see that travelling by train, bus or boat is possible. Which is something I’m all for.

Unfortunately, when all the ash is gone and the air traffic will be open for good, I think most people will go back to environmentalunfriendly planes again. Too bad for them. And too bad for nature, which also includes me, my future children, their future children, their future children, and so on. (That is, if the world doesn’t end in 2012, because I won’t have any children before 2017 at the very earliest.)

So, we’re all going around grumbling about how we’re stuck in the Canary Islands, or can’t go to that meeting somewhere else in the country (videoconferences, anyone?) because there are no planes leaving the ground. Of course, there are some people who are stuck somewhere for whom it is really important to get home, or away from home. But if it’s supermegaintergalaxicly important, there are other ways of travelling, such as mentioning above. So I don’t feel very sorry for any of them,

But there are some people I feel sorry for. I mean, because of the volcano eruption, not in general, because there are really too many people in the world, and I would like to help all of those who have a hard time surviving. Which is why I won’t talk about them any more here, as most of them have little or nothing to do with the bubbling over of lava and ash Eyjafjallajökull has done.

I am of course talking about the people living close to the volcano. The Icelanders.

Some of them have lost their houses, their farms, their cattle or other properties to the lava and ash. Some of them are afraid, wishing to leave the island and go to safety. I understand them. I would not like it if a huge volcano erupted on the 103,001 km2 (39,770 square miles) island I lived on. Especially not if I had a farm or a house close to the volcano. And I were evacuated, while my cattle were not. I would be worrying my head of.

Especially since Katla is threatening to erupt, too. I hope that she won’t, or at least that it will be a small outlet of lava, ash and smoke. I also hope that geologists will be able to predict when and how big the eruption will be, so that they can evacuate animals and people in time. And if it is necessary, get them all away from the Iceland while Katla, Eyjafjallajökull and the Ash Clouds parties.

I admit it. I have little knowledge of volcanoes, and Iceland. But I am worried. Because I have always liked Iceland, and its people doesn’t deserve being buried in ash and magma and loose their properties.

I wish the Icelanders the best of luck. 

In the meantime, someone should make a song. I’ve written (a small) part of the lyrics already, to the tune of Disney’s Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat:

Ev'rybody, Ev'rybody,
Ev'rybody wants to be an Ash (cloud)
Ev'rybody, Ev'rybody,
Ev'rybody wants to be an Ash (cloud)



The volcanoes will soon be quiet. Don’t worry, Icelanders! Keep thinking positive!

To the rest of the world, let’s start doing what we love the most!

You don’t know what I’m talking about? Oh. Well, it’s theories. The kind of theories you half believe, half hope for, and half laugh of, because they’re so ridiculous they can’t be right.

Though I prefer to view it a bit differently. I say, the kind of theories so ridiculous they have to be true. 

So. I have a theory about the volcano eruptions. The Maya were right. The world is going to end in 2012. Hopefully after we’ve seen the movie adaptation of The Hobbit.

Because. Eyjafjallajökull is erupting. It will be for a long time, now, a year or so. Soon other volcanoes on Iceland will join the party, and we will see hundreds of new Ash Clouds. In 2012, Katla will finally have stored up as much magma as she can hold. She will erupt Monday the 31st of December 2012. She will be the last we will ever see. Katla will be our Orodruin. Our Amon Amarth. Our Mount Doom.

Just wait and see. Ragnarök is near.





I’m not being serious, of course. I hope you understand that. The world won’t end in 2012. It only going to be the End of the World as we know it. You see the difference? Good. My friend Melkor and I will see to that.